March 17, 2006
This is a special holiday to me. My best St. Patrick's Day story was from 2000 . Kim and I were driving back from her parents on my Spring Break. We had been there all week and were going back to Louisville via Pittsburgh. We went directly to Mullaney's Harp and Fiddle (Uncle David's bar, yes the one I almost blinded playing golf for those who aren't family) with no dinner (this was bad). We could barely get in, but Uncle Brian let us in through one of the doors that wasn't open. We barely got in, but where we did get in was right by a beer portable that Kelly (cousin) was working (also bad). We were "stuck" there for the entire night, and it was a long night. We were drinking Killian's, but I couldn't even guess how many. At one point Danny or Donny (more cousins, they're twins and I don't know which one it was) ended up by us. He was talking to Kelly and she said something along the lines of "Aren't you gonna say hello?" indicating me. He asked "Who is that, your boyfriend?" She replied, "No its your cousin." Polietly leaving out the "you're an idiot", but it was completely implied. We proceeded to have what I can only assume was a completely incoherrent conversation. At some point near the end of the evening I decided it would be a good idea to do a shot of Jameson (this was by far the worst decision I made that evening and probably one of my top 5 worst decisions of all time). Shortly there after Kelly drove Kim and I back to Grandma and PopPop's. On the ride home Kim threw up out of the moving car (Kelly eventually pulled over). When we got to their apartment, Grandma was up waiting for us, and I don't remember much after that. In the middle of the night I had to unplug a fountain in the living room (I am sure that would have been amusing to anyone who could have seen it) because I thought it was going to make me sick. If I had gotten sick it would have had nothing to do with the evening's festivities, it would have been the fountain. I made it through the evening without incident, but spent most of my waking minutes in the bathroom. Kim recovered rather quickly and spent most of the day playing Yahtzee with PopPop, while he indulged in what was apparently one of his other favorite hobbies: completely f'ing with me while I had the worst hang over of my life. I don't remeber what he said or did, but I do remember that I would have rather spent the day recouperating in a dumpster full of broken glass. He had fun though. At some point someone took Kim back to the Strip to get her car, and I was finally able to drag myself into it around 7 that night. Needless to say, Kim drove all the way back to Louisville. I don't think I've been drunk on St. Patrick's since. Oh well, I'll always have that one to look back on fondly.
March 16, 2006
Here are 2 of the guys that do most of the Simpson's (not OJ) voices on Conan.
http://www.piclibs.com/videos.php?id=115
March 15, 2006
13 photos
13 photos
I put Elizabeth in this outfit so I could take these pictures. She threw up all over it 5 minutes after I put it on her, but it was long enough to take the pictures.
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I heard them talking about this guy while I was watching games this weekend, but this is the first time I saw what happened.
Announcer: "It does not look like it should look."
No shit! Really? Your eye shouldn't pop out of your head? Thanks Dr. Bizer.
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1672493/
March 14, 2006
1 photos
1 photos
In November Riley was attacked by a Rotweiler and a Boxer while I was walking him. Long story short, a neighbor saw it, the cops came and filed a report, and I never heard anything more. Last week I got a notice that I had to go to court as a witness. It was nothing like that TV show "NIght Court". To start with, it was during the day. The judge didn't tell any jokes or do magic, there were no hot lawyers and sarcastic bailifs. It was pretty dissapointing. These were the rules posted as you came in:
1. No talking.
2. No cell phones. If your phone rings it will be taken from you and thrown away.
3. No hats. (despite this posting the bailiff still had to tell 3 people to remove their hats. You would think the other 2 would have figured it out after he told the first one, but oh no. Not in this country.)
4. No chewing gum while talkinf to the judge. You can be held in contempt of court for this offense, and rightfully so.
Any way, four witnesses showed up. The dog owner didn't. They issued a warrant for her. I know which house they live in, so I have been watching out my window to see if the Police Cops come for her. It is two women that both drive big Ford Broncos that live in the house. Should be fun to see if they ever come for them.
1 photos
1 photos
After 2 years, the Sopranos finally returns to HBO this Sunday @ 9pm. For those of you who can't remember, Adriana is dead (I am sure of that despite thoughts of others), Johhny Sack is in jail, Tony thinks AJ is gay (he wants to be an event planner), and Tony bought his way back into the house by going along with Carmela's real estate plan. Please share your thoughts on the new season after the show Sunday.
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March 3, 2006
Here is anew product that some of you may want to consider using. Sample the demo to see which one is right for you. (warning:nudity)
http://www.shockabsorber.co.uk/bounceometer/shock.html
1 photos
1 photos
This is me at the pinacle of my carrer. It really doesn't get any bigger than this.
February 27, 2006
Just like Super Bowl MVP Hines Ward, I'm going to Orlando, FL this week on business. Hopefully everyone can make it through the week without their Regal fix till Friday. In the meantime, enjoy this video. It is someone questioning Buzz Aldrin and the validity of his moon landing. Buzz doesn't seem to share the young whiper snappers views.
http://www.slackernetwork.com/out.php?id=3946
February 26, 2006
15 photos
15 photos
February 25, 2006
If you're like me (and I suspect you are) you've always wondered what it woul be like if soemone wrote words to the Super Mario Brothers song and performed it as an opera featuring paper mache hand puppets. I never knew Mario was so sad.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1298274958983146929&q=mario+puppets
February 24, 2006
It's things like this that make me miss Louisville (WHAS). Make sure you watch the whole thing. The visual aids are outstanding, but that is the funniest multiple use of the word "nigga" I have ever seen. If you could pick one person in the entire world that should not be allowed to use that word it would be this guy. He's awful in every imaginable way. Goofy bastard.
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1666023/
